SeaShells

Wrench my tortured soul free..

Loneliness has never tasted so sweet..

Hatred oozed through my icy grip

Tears - the unspoken silence

Forgiveness - It's taste foreign on my tongue

My thoughts' frenzy, My Soul's weak

Addicted to the dreams that haunts me....

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Prediction of torture,

Anchored to the icy heart ,

Inflicted by hatred coursing deep,

Numbness, a pleasure lesser known

What have I become....?

Angelia 01:24

I do not wish to understand your actions

cos It will not bring me happiness

Why should I be judged

base on waves of manipulations that serves no self reflection

Patience is a Virture that I am learning

Happiness is self served and free

Leisurely strolling towards..

I will get there...Open your arms and warm me

Promise

Angelia 01:27

Hooh!! I have read Red Moon and now halfway thru Eclipse...I don't really understand why I am so happy when I am reading..When I read..it seems I have never encountered "Worries" and "Stress" before. I am able to leave behind "Reality".

I tried to be as "Light" as I could today...I was unhappy.. unhappy..I cannot explain why and where this unhappiness comes from but because at the end I did not feel "happy" thus I decided that I was unhappy. With regards to the issue previously, I agreed that the lesser known wld be better for all. Its not up to me to see how the end would unfold but ALL lies in the hands of their decisions made. I wish for A Simplier life for myself and I will try to simplify it in as many ways as I can.

William Shakespear's Romeo and Juliet:" Such violent delights have violent ends!" Perhaps this is how I can relate the above to my life.

It has ended...

Once captivation faded,

Its former glory

wither to ashes,

Pray tell me..

Revelation awaits

Angelia 02:09

Haven't blogged for a while...have been very busy lately and of cos all these comes with STRESS!!

I wonder if the pple there understand in simple ENGLISH:

Responsibility, Common Sense, Ownership and Communication...Haiz day after day I have been pushing them and they have yet to understand the above. If they can do the right things I would be extremely happy happy happy. However, they think THEY are all VERY SMART!! Wow!! Best!!

GOD BLESS!! I ish so tired. My road is ever rocky and long ahead. How do I overcome all these?? What can I do..??

Now on a brighter note, I have been reading the Twilight series by Stephane Meyer. The 1st book Twilight is really good cos I just cannot put it down and I got so addicted till I went searching on the sequel...My brother has never been so hardworking searching for all my wishlist in Taiwan..Lolz Perhaps cos he needs to buy a set for his GF as well.. Poor Lil Boy!! I miss him sooo very much..!! I also miss PopEye's Biscuits as it reminded me of this old fast food place back when we were young at the basement of Parkway Parade that serves that too. I planned to bring my parents to Dim Joy this sunday and I hope they will like it there..I like its Simplicity.

I also have been thinking about a little of my "to-do-list" and Boy!! there are much to be done...

1. Save $$ for another Degree/Master...Most prob I will take a loan frm the Bank.

2. Find another WAY out

3. Pressies for everyone I love - For those who didnt get any frm me, It doesnt mean i dont love you..enuf said!

4. SAVE money...loads of them so that I will have more freedom to do things I want. Which means no unnecessary spending totally.

5. Stand firm to my Values and Conscience. Stay Pure.

Here... I am sleepy now..I will never to able to blog like Jon...totally abstract..That's 1 thing I have to get him to teach me cos when he blogs he don't seems to be Jon...Whahaha WTH... Christmas is a season of Joy, sharing, peace and forgiveness

Where did I stop the last time...???

Because I stay away from my parents so much, I remember growing up in my Aunt's Shophouse in Bendemeer. On the 1st Flr, its the shop and 2nd Flr is where the living area is. I basically grew up there.

My Aunt - The Ladyboss/ Mother / Worker/ Cleaner/ Cook all rolled into 1!! She will wake up early to open the shop, cook, tend the shop, manages her 3 children + Me! and cleans up the house after we are all in bed. Fantastic Cook not to mention. I love her homecook meals. Traditional and simple. Now she's really mean to the maids which I don't understand why and not that I can blame her cos of her age and education standard. And "NO!!!" she doesnt torture them just very fierce!! towards them.

My Uncle - Happy Go Lucky chap / Father/ Gambler etc. He is good natured and well loved by his children and the disciplining of the children is done by my Aunt. Hardly at home most of the times and when he is back, he will bring either some goodies or friends back. Sometimes I remembered him bringing all of us to eat Pig's Organ Soup for supper and its already felt like something out of the world as we *the children* cramp at the back of the van.

Ah Peng - The Elder Sister / Brainchild / Snob. Not that she tortures me mind you...All of them loves me when I was a child. And I get all the attention I want from them. She will take care of me when she is back from school and babysit me at times. They all called her the Pig...Why exactly, I've forgotten but most prob. cos she likes to sleep..Lolz. She really smart in school I guess and she went to UK to further her studies. Her then BF *W.T* was from a rich family and they were together for a long time. Their breakup was horrendous and dramatic as the whole family got involved and were upset cos he seemed like such a nice boy to all of us. He wanted to kill himself and didn't want to go home and did a bunch of silly stuffs *I'm sure he was totally heartbroken at that time and "Sense" didn't mean a thing when It comes to LOVE* Well, now she is happily married to Mr. Wong *also from a well to do family - She gets all the luck* and has a son by the name of Ethan. I love him to bits!!

Ting Tang - The Younger Sister / Tom Boy/ The 1 who cries among the 3 of them/ Hardworking.  She will cook whatever that she had learnt in the Home Econs Class and comes back to try it on us. I remember she was taught how to fry eggs and I had to eat like a whole lot of eggs with Ah Chuan till he called me her guinea pig..Lolz!! I wanted to show her my support even tho I was very young *How young?? I still dont need to go school yet* She taught me how to ride a bicycle, helps out in the shop with me. I remembered all of us made our own "Lelong" corner outside the shop and we had so much fun selling off the "Sale Items" She had a car accident and it cos her to be depressed for awhile as it sort of disfigured her face. She had to go thru skin grafting and stuffs. She got married to the BF who was in the accident and he loves her alot. They have got a daughter *I forgot her name!! Lolz WTH??* She is really pretty and reminds me of Ting Tang when she was young. I love her all the same just that I forgot her name...I'm so bad rite...!

Ah Chuan - The Playboy/ Livewire/ Youngest Child / Only Son/ Good looking Ah Beng   I tagged along with him all the time as he is always around when I woke up while the other 2 were at school. I followed him ard to play soccer/ WWF Wrestling/ Jump drains/ watch horror flicks. I became a super tomboy as well in the end. He doesn't anyone to cry so everything that hurts, I swallow inside. He's always Hulk Hogan/ Ultimate Warrior and I'm Macho Man..my brother is someother crank which I dont remember anymore. We wrestled with real backcracks mind u!! He's crazy about Andy Lau. He collects exotic fishes *he's got a Piranha, Oscar, Angelfish all in 1 tank and they didn't cannabalise one another* He was more fun when we were younger. Nowadays he just locks himself in the room. He's got a GF apparently an Air Stewardess same age as me!! Ah Beng cos he's super bengz when I was in secondary sch. He did look after me then as well...

Well this is sort of the 2nd family to me when I was growing up...I get beaten alot by my parents. Mom would beat me cos I couldn't finish 1 assisgnment book in A day!! and both of them would come to my rescue later to comfort and soothe my tears.

Wow!! Thats alot I've realised..But WTH.. I want to immortalized them into MY blog so that I will remember them with fond memories as part of my life esp. childhood when MY parents weren't ard.