2008/2009 (go back »)

I received a piece of shocking news when I met him the other day and cried so much till I am so embarrassed, he had to buy tissue for me... I tried to explained why I took it so hard but I don't know if I related it in the correct way in terms of explanation. Heck it!!! I was feeling out of sorts for the next few days / weeks and got all emotional & teary when I think about it. WHY am I so weak?? Am I defeated now?? Have I been fighting a battle that I meant to lose right from the start? What happened?? Why did I suddenly lose heart? What happen to FAITH? To a point of No Return, I told him I wanted that "choice/alternative/route* whatever you call it and its left pending to an answer that I have been praying for. Please Buddha and Goddess of Mercy - Make it happen for me cos I do not think I can face "Her" anymore...I cry at work, on the way to work, in the toilet, in bed, in dreams, even when Zoning out... It's said, Perhaps in order to be delivered out frm this pain I need to learn and treat "this" with a 'Calm Heart'. Forgive and Accept her for what she is and I will be a happier person. I do understand the latter in principal BUT to be able to live it out technically, PHEW!! its.....

My comp's hard disk crashed and my life w/o internet is DULL...now I am using my Bro's lappie so if he knows, I am DEAD MEAT!! He flew out to Paki this morning and I had a fight with him yesterday cos he ask ed me to fork out $400 to fix the damn thing..WTH..when I gave him money to buy the Desktop he GTDs that all Programs will be genuine and my Windows was a fake one...NB!! I do not know what to say to him siaz...

I worked late shift for X'mas Eve and celebrated it with Pammie, Charmie and Declan at the Bar...It was fun.. I missed Eveie tho we chatted for hours that day. She's coming back for CNY so till then I gotta tough it out so I keep on walking down this lonely road till I meet her. Front Desk's Gift Xchange Declan bought me a P'fumie frm Ferragammo - Shine which I like very much so here it comes:" Strawberry Beng, THANK YOU!!!!" muacks muacks!! I bought him a pair of ultra glam *colourwise* flipflops frm NUM...It will bring him to places safely ..Lolz NY Eve I am also working late shift so I really got No Life in terms of celebration. Its gonna be CNY soon so I really hope I will be able to enjoy this festive to the MAX. I went shopping with my Mom today and we breezed thru Isetan, GAP @ Centrepoint, Topshop,Bebe, Ms. Selfridge, Warehouse and French Connection.. I am looking for dresses and saw 2..1 is a Purplish Blue Babydoll dress at Topshop @ $110 and a Black with pleats at the front dess tied to the waist at Warehouse I think that was $129...Dunnoe how if I should buy. Its SALE everywhere and thus so annoying cos pple are crawling at the clothes like as if there is no tomorrow..I hate that...Its a Turn OFF!!

We will see how things goes....I will be back to cry soon Stay Tuned!!